...for better or for worse...

Married life has changed both of us significantly over the past 20 months. We both agree that the overwhelming majority of those changes have been for the better and we give our strongest recommendation to those considering participation within the institution of marriage. However, one of us recently had an experience that caused us to consider at least one unfortunate consequence of our union.

The experience occured last week while we were watching TV and a commerical came on announcing today's premiere episode of a new season of a certain MTV reality show. To the great surprise of both spouses, one of us suddenly shouted out with resounding glee, throwing their hands in the air and dancing about like a British schoolgirl on May day.

This akward and regrettable reaction was unfortunately an inevitable consequence of married life. After just 20 short months, we have both significantly influenced each others taste in TV entertainment, but one of us has certainly been more severly affected than the other. So in honor of the often undesirable, sometimes embarassing, and always unexpected changes that occur during marriage we bring you:

The 5 TV shows one of us is embarassed to be caught watching:

5. The Hills

We start the list here because this is the show that spurred the reaction described earlier. For those of you who have failed to give this materpiece of television art its due dilegence allow us to enlighten you. The Hills is the story of one Lauren Conrad and her band of merry friends who are trying to live the American Dream. As high school graduates Lauren, Heidi, Audrina, and Whitney had little going for them except their millionarie parents unfettered desire to pay for anything they want, their luxurious Los Angeles area apartments, and their insatiable appetites for fame. The Hills catalouges the lives of these privileged socialites as they make life changing decisons about cloths, boys, and cloths that boys will like. It is riveting. Why this spouse likes it, we don't really know, but what we do know is that Lauren should definetly go to Paris with Teen Vouge and not let Brody stand in her way, and Heidi should tell Spencer to get out and stay out!!!!!!!

4. Take Home Chef

Take home chef stumbled into our lives as a result of channel surfing during the 5-6 o'clock block when there is nothing good on because the Jazz pregame show hasn't started yet and ESPN is showing the boring "news" version of Sportscenter that is painfully devoid of any meaningful highlights. The star of the show is the suave, Australian, culinary master Curtis Stone. Curtis "dashes out to the market, picks up a friendly shopper, then rushes home to cook an amazing meal and surprise someone special", which loosely translated means that he chooses the hottest 30 something lady he can find, goes to their home where they pretend to help him cook but they are usually too rich and stupid to peel a potatoe, they then scare/surprise the suddenly self-conscious husband, and finally Curtis serves up an awesome meal. Sound boring? WRONG! Watch it once and you too will be wondering how a pinch of paprika can spice your lamp chops.

3. What Not to Wear

Staying with the TLC theme we move on to the slightly more embarassing What Not to Wear. This show is predicated on the obvious reality that most people dress like the fashion baby of Marsha Brady and Marilyn Manson. The hosts, Stacy and Clinton, take the most extreme offenders among us and turn them into descent looking people that should at least be able to get a non-online facilitated date. What makes the show great is Stacy and Clinton's remarkable ability to tear people down and destroy their self-esteem only to build them up again and change their life one pair of dark, straight legged trousers at a time. Also key to the show are Nick the hair stylist and Carmindy the makeup artist who are usually able to convince the unfortunate looking person that looking like a heroine addicted homeless poodle is not particularly flattering for their face. If you remain unconviced, we encourage you to check it out for yourself, but remember- No white after Labor day.

2. America's Best Dance Crew

All you need to know about this show is the following:

It is "presented" by this guy

Hosted by this guy

Performed by groups like these guys
And then judged by this guy

And that's all I really gotta say about that.

1. America's Next Top Model

When I first started being forced to watch this show I felt like Jaeda from cycle 8 looks

But over time the secong grade level cat fighting, the routine ease with which Trya slaughters the english language, and the captivating runway perfomances by the likes of Caridee, Yoanna, and Jaslene have now got me feeling more like Naima (photo right).











There is much that is fascinating about the dynamics of ANTM but what I find particulary interesting is the notion commonly refered to as "high fashion". Being someone who has never flipped through the pages of Vouge and who thinks Juicy Couture sounds like a new snowcone flavor, I admittedly know little about what is considered fashionable or the terminology of the industry. So when I think of high fasion I think that means getting some nice looking girls in some nice looking cloths and having a nice looking outcome. Well, I was only 1 out of 3 on that assumption. High fashion indeed does start out with a nice looking girl but the end game is apparently to turn these nice girls into supersized demonicly possessed fruit bats.


Fierce.

But don't feel bad for these girls, they deserve everything they get for letting this woman be their mentor.














I shouldn't make fun of Tyra. Afterall she really does care about these girls. She takes them under her wing, shows them how to become a supermodel, encourages them to experiment with anorexia and/or bulima, and invites them to open up about painful childhood issues only to use the newly exposed weakness as a reason to quash their life long dream. And for those who don't make it and are doomed to lead a normal life and become mothers, at least she teaches them how to give birth at home in the safest position as recommened by the American Medical Association










You wanna be on top?
No thanks Tyra.