If I had more money than I knew what to do with- I would look very hot at the Grammys. But thats just me.

I was confused by the vast majority of dresses I saw at the Grammys this year. I was vastly underwhelmed which is always a disappointment. So to kill some time on a slow afternoon at work here is some totally useless and probably quite boring commentary on a few of our celeb friends dresses.

I am admittedly not a huge Beyonce fan. But I know this woman can work a fierce look. But this thick and heavy geometric boob zipper look combined with the two tone yucky hair does nothing for her...or me. Lets leave the yellow hair to Gaga okee? I mean, for someone who has great curves, this dress is not the answer. It looks like carpet.

I don't even know where to begin with this. First of all- where did she come from? I must have missed the whole Ke$ha thing. $ Sign? Really? She is so trashy and squinty eyed I can't even believe they let her onto the red carpet. I have not seen anyone try to so hard to pull off that "too cool to care about the Grammys/anything at all because I am just SO punk" vibe since Avril Lavigne. And the amount of glitter on her eyes and her feathery rat tail is whisking me back to 8th grade when that may have barely passed for acceptable {okay maybe not the rat tail. That was really never acceptable- not even if you put a feather in it to add a little bling}. Lets all hope she has had her 5 minutes of fame and next year the red carpet will not be sodened with her trashiness.

And speaking of missing things...I must have missed the memo that announced leotards were the new pants/dress {and we are excluding Lady Gaga here because she is just...well...Gaga- and I don't think anyone would mistake what she wears for acceptable fashion}. I will give Brit credit for the very nice new brunette look. I like it. And I will give Ciara credit for being so gorgeous it makes me feel that life is not fair. But really? Leotards on the red carpet? Leotards anywhere?! Why? Not even Gaga tried that one. A lacey/fish net layer does not constitute an outfit. Not even when you add really fancy lace.

I have to admit that I totally love Taylor Swift. She is adorable and sweet and her little songs about puppies and sunshine and princes have totally won me over. Granted she is really not very good live. I wish she was. She was fairly awful in her performance with Stevie Nicks. But she usually looks awesome and adorable so you can forgive her mediocrity on the stage. But that is not exactly the case here. I really want to like this dress...but I can't. I really tried. I think if this had been a little shorter, or the strange square cut out would not have been there I would have loved it. She just feels sort of grandmaish. I love that she put her hair up for once in her life. I also love that she is not wearing white for once in her life. And I have a thing for sequins and sparkle. But this dress just doesn't do it for me. I think it hangs very strangely right over her stomach. I don't know. I guess I can give her a B for the effort because it is not awful- but something is just not right here.I think Gaga should have won a Grammy simply for walking all the way down the carpet in those shoes without breaking her spine. Upon first seeing her I sighed and though "Oh Lady Gaga give it a rest!" Her same old insane routine does get a little tired, especially since I think she is actually really beautiful and extremely talented. However, I do sort of love that this was made by Armani and is quite cool looking. And I have to admit that I don't hate the yellow hair. And probably just because she is Lady Gaga I decided that I can roll with this. And I mean, at least her vajay is totally covered and the worst thing that could happen with this outfit is to get speared by that spikey star. Considering what we are working with, I would say this was a success. I hate every single thing about Rihannas dress. Mostly I hate that it is white. And then maybe that it looks like she is wearing a feather neck brace. Or maybe it is because it makes her hips look like a house. Or maybe is the poorly colored hair. Or maybe because the bottom looks like drapery that she pulled off her wall and cinched up with some safety pins. Or maybe its the Alice in Wonderland feel. Or those yucky sleeves. Hard to say really...And then we have Lea Michele. Thank heavens she showed up or the whole night would have been a disaster. She looks completely adorable. I am dying over this dress. Just one more reason why I love Glee. Thank you Lea Michele/stylist of Lea Michele.

{Sigh of relief}

What were your thoughts/concerns/ favorites from the Grammys?